Finding joy in hard times

I have learned that life is always hard, so choose your hard. And the reality is, we all need a lifeline. We all have sinking moments, where we just need the lifeguard to show up out of nowhere. But what if you already do have a lifeguard at every sinking moment?

It use to be that doctors thought you needed to drain your blood to eliminate illness. Now, we learn that you can also infuse your blood with nutrients. Have you ever seen a family member hooked up to an IV? Watching it fill their bodies with medicine, hydration, and vitamins? Have you ever had an IV attached to you with a load of vitamins streaming into your blood stream? I have... and honestly, it has saved me many times. It has boosted me out of post-partum depression and chronic illnesses. IV therapy is a blessing of connection to something that can nourish and replenish you during hard moments. Some of us have a hard time digesting nutrients, and we need a little extra help.

Similarly, prayer can replenish us during hard moments. This IV therapy is much more spiritual than physiological. A great secret to replenishment as you experience all the chaos of life is simply saying a prayer. And many wonder why prayer could be so simple yet so effective until they read:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7

You all have heard the simple primary answers. Pray for help. Pray over your hearts. Pray over your relationships. Pray over your businesses. Pray when your sick. It seems so simple, and yet we overlook the nourishment it provides. A prominent spiritual leader, who recently escaped death by some miraculous means, said some very profound things that he learned when he visited the other side of the veil as his body layed covered in wires on a hospital bed. Yes, he escaped death, in part due to IV therapy and in part due to miracle, and lived to tell the tale of what he learned on the other side. His name was Jeff Holland, and when he came back from across the veil, he spent many moments teaching the Christian world that he saw how many people had prayed for him, and how much more God wants us to pray. His message was clear:

I thought I prayed all the time… but the lesson was, ‘Pray more than you pray...

and then he said,

However much you’ve prayed, pray more.

and soon after he said,

However many times during the day you pray, pray more times in the day.

and if that is not convincing enough to "hook up" to prayer, then remember what else was said in the Bible:

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:16-18

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God… and it shall be given him. James 1:5

And if the scriptures are not enough to convince you of the nourishment that prayer provides, there is surprising science behind faith and prayer:

Quantum science shows us a magical truth: once things are connected, distance doesn’t matter—they stay linked beyond space and time. We, made of particles too, are woven into that same invisible web. Every act we send into the world loops back to us. And the ‘you’ of tomorrow? Already entwined with the ‘you’ of today, in a dimension beyond clocks and maps. Your IV "prayer" therapy is there whether you can see it with your eyes or not.

Let's start with how prayer changes reality. Taken from Joe Dispenza’s work, “In July 2000, Israeli doctor Leonard Leibovici conducted a double-blind, randomized controlled trial involving 3,393 hospital patients, divided into a control group and an “intercession” group.  He set out to see whether prayer could have an effect on their condition.  Prayer experiments are great examples of mind affecting matter at a distance.   But stay with me here, because everything is not always what it seems.   Leibovici selected patients who had suffered sepsis (an infection) while hospitalized.  He randomly designated half the patients to have prayers said for them, while the other half were not prayed for.  He compared the results in three categories: how long fever lasted, length of hospital stay, and how many died as a result of the infection.  The prayed-for benefited from an earlier decrease in fever and a shorter hospitalization time; the difference in the number of deaths among the prayed-for and not-prayed for groups was not statistically significant, although better in the prayed-for group.  That’s a powerful demonstration of the benefits of prayer and how we can send an intention out into the quantum field through our thoughts and feelings.  However, there’s one additional element to this story that you should know about.  Did it strike you as slightly odd that in July 2000, a hospital would have more than 3,000 cases of infection at once?…Actually, those who were praying weren’t praying for patients who were infected in 2000.  Instead, unbeknownst to them, they were praying for lists of people who had been in the hospital from 1990 to 1996- four to ten years prior to the experiment!  The prayed-for patients actually got better during the 1990s from the experiment conducted years later…This demonstrates that our intentions, our thoughts and feelings, and our prayers not only affect our present or future, but they can actually affect our past as well.”

Your prayers to heaven influence every part of life, transcending both space and time.

But it wouldn’t have been fair to generations of people to wait for that science behind prayer to pop up in year 2000.  Which is why God has told people to build a relationship with Him through prayer since he started working on this world.  

Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me. DC 88:63

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things…Jeremiah 33:3

Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

The greatest doctor on the planet for any adversity is just a prayer away, yet despite how simple that seems, how often do we neglect to pray? We learn that we can pray to know if God loves us, we learn that we can pray to have an understanding of our purpose, we can pray to know what our gifts are, and we can pray to help us be strengthened in adversity. I love the prayer by Archbishop of Cambrai from Fenelon:

"Lord, I know not what to ask of thee. Thou only knowest what I need. Thou lovest me better than I know how to love myself. Father, give to they child that which he himself knows not to ask. Smite or heal, depress me or raise me up: I adore all thy purposes without knowing them. I am silent; I offer myself up in a sacrifice; I yield myself to thee; I would have no other desire than to accomplish thy will. Teach me to pray. Pray thyself in me."

It is upon these three important virtues: faith, hope, and charity, that we can manifest a solution to our adversities. And we have a great tool to help us accomplish that: Prayer. But if the scriptures are still feeling too vague, listen to this beautiful discovery that confirms the power of the virtures working in unison:

Cellular biologist Glen Rein, Ph.D., conceived of a series of experiments to test healers' ability to affect biological systems. He decided to have healers hold test tubes containing DNA since it is very stable. This study took place at the HeartMath Research Center in California. In the experiment, he first studied a group of ten individuals who were well practiced in mindfulness with intention that they learned at the Center. They applied the mindfulness techniques to produce strong, elevated feelings such as love and appreciation, then for two minutes, they held vials containing DNA samples suspended in deionized water. Upon analysis of those samples, no statistically significant changes were found. A second group of trained participants did the same thing, but instead of just creating positive emotions (a feeling) of love and appreciation, they simultaneously held an intention (a thought) to either wind or unwind the strands of DNA. This group caused statistically significant alterations in the conformation (shape) of the DNA samples. In some cases the DNA was wound or unwound as much as 25%!

A third group of trained participants aimed to alter the DNA with a clear intent, but they were directed not to adopt a positive emotional state. In other words, they were only using thought to affect matter. The outcome? The DNA samples remained unchanged. Subjects were able to achieve the desired effect only when they experienced strong emotions of love and appreciation alongside their clear thoughts.

Joe Dispenza summarized that "an intentional thought needs an energizer, a catalyst, and that energy is an elevated emotion. Heart and mind working together. Feelings and thoughts unified into a state of being. If a state of being can wind and unwind strands of DNA in two minutes, what does this say about our ability to create reality?"

So we learn that prayer needs gratitude and love. The scriptures tell us that anything good comes from God. And so we learn again, like we visited in this classroom on purpose, that intention with a love that transcends ourselves, will help us see more clearly how and what to pray for, and see the good around us. We can pray to see the miracles in our lives. We can pray that we can be more confident and understand our gifts, we can pray for more faith and trust in God. We can pray that he can help us learn to like reading books more. We can pray to ace our chemistry test. And then, we trust that He will answer in his own way, and in his own timing. This is the love and gratitude part. The trust part. And that trust part is the biggest part. But if you ever doubted if God knows you, or loves you, then I invite you to hear this story:

My favorite story of how much God loves us and honors our good desires shows up in my own family. My daughter is in her first year of college, and she has worked extra hard to get there. She graduated a year early from highschool by working double time on her senior year of highschool. She got into college, and she finally got into the groove of college life. But for years she has made the commitment to wanting to serve a Christian mission. Our church sends missionaries to teach people about Jesus Christ and serve through humanitarian work all over the world. She thought she had to wait until she was 19 to turn her papers into the church headquarters, and get her mission call. The church just announced that women can now leave on their missions at age 18, same as boys. It use to be age 19. So she hurried and filled out her papers so she could get a call to leave at the end of winter semester. She filled out all her papers by herself, without wanting any advice from mom on what to put on there. There is a section in the mission papers that lets you put your desired location or desired language or any inputs you have as to where you want to serve. She chose to leave it blank, other than to say she is willing to learn a foreign language. She has told me in the past she would dream to serve in Spain, but she left the preference part empty. She of course, knows Spanish, from living in Puerto Rico, but she didn't mention much else. She told me that she just wanted to trust God would send her wherever she is needed in the world. The papers go to local church authorities, who send it to the area authorities depending on where you live, and then they go to church headquarters. The church has millions upon millions of members but each missionary call is prayed over and assigned, by the head Apostles of the church. Each young adult is truly prayed over, and assigned by personal revelation by one of the head apostles. The anticipation of finding out where she was going was enormous! Finally, the day came, and she read to us where she is being assigned. To all of our great surprise, she was called to serve in the Barcelona, Spain Mission. This mission also includes Valencia. The crazy part is, Brin has had Barcelona and Valencia images posted on her board in her college dorms, she has stayed in Valencia for a month with a friend in highschool, and we visited Barcelona as a family for our son's basketball tournament. So the fact that she got called to the very place that made her fall in love with Spain, and the fact that she never mentioned anything about it on her papers, was a testimony to me of God's love for His children. The leaders of the church could have had no idea that she loved it there, but God did. To me, this is such a beautiful story of what manifestation really is, a hint that God loves you.

When we pray, we are encouraged to have focus and intention, not just with our hearts, but with our minds. And I have learned that it is a great time to practice gratitude. I heard it once said:

The amount of good things in your life depends on your ability to notice them. -unknown

Even in the presence of hardship, we see more clearly the good when we are guided by purpose and devoted to something greater than ourselves.  Prayer is a great time to practice seeing the good that happened in our day. And then we learn this grand truth:

The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives. -Russell M. Nelson

And if we need help knowing what to focus on, all we have to do is pray and ask about that too! The science is there, and it has been there all along, and if you ask your AI agent, the word “pray” (exact form) appears around 300–350 times in most English Bibles like the King James Version. If you include related words like “prayer,” “prayed,” “praying,” the total rises to about 500–650 times. How often do we need to be reminded to pray? How often do we forget? Why do we forget? And while we pray lets not forget to thank God for the little things:

I love how Soulmindhub explains, "In a long term psychological study, two groups were asked to write every day.  Same time.  Same effort.  Different focus.  Group A wrote about random daily events.  What happened.  Who said what.  What went wrong.  No intention.  Just observation.  Group B wrote three things they were grateful for.  Not big things.  Not perfect lives.  Just what felt good that day.  After a few weeks, brain scans showed something surprising.  Group B’s brains began to rewire themselves.  Not emotionally.  Neurologically. The key discovery was the brain started automatically scanning for good things.  Not forcing positivity. Not ignoring pain.  Just noticing differently.  Why this works is because your brain is a prediction machine.  Whatever you focus on repeatedly, your subconscious marks as important for survival. If you train it to look for threats it creates anxiety.  If you train it to look for meaning, it creates calm. Real life example: same traffic jam.  One person thinks: “Another terrible day.” The other thinks: “I get time to breath.”  Same moment.  Different inner reality. Happiness didn’t change their life.  It changed how their brain interpreted life.  That’s the shift. The big truth is your attention is not neutral.  It is a command to your subconscious.  “Find more of this.” This is why gratitude isn’t spiritual fluff.  It’s mental conditioning.  You are teaching your brain what kind of world you live in.  Most people wait for life to improve before they feel better.  But the brain works the opposite way.  Don’t ask “why is my life so hard?” Ask: “What went right today that I usually ignore?” Every night, write: One small win, one moment of peace, one thing that supported you.  That’s it. You’re not lying to yourself.  You’re training perception.  And perception becomes emotional reality. Gratitude doesn’t change your life overnight.  It changes how your brain meets your life.  And that changes everything. Your brain believes what you repeatedly show it.  Show it meaning.  Show it safety.  Show it enough."  

Science is just the ingredients to a recipe that God has always shared with the world. Anything good comes from God. Just as He is an excellent listener with us, we need to be even better listeners to Him. He is always there. Always ready at a moments notice. We are so lucky to have Him. Believe me if you don't believe yourself! I have heard Him, experienced His presence, and engaged in conversations I never thought possible by concentrating on His messages to me and seeking His guidance on whether my ideas were correct or incorrect. The important thing is to find the quiet moments for this.

We are wise to remember that God is not a cosmic vending machine. We can have faith and pray that a video game consule will magically show up at our door the next day, but deep down our faith knows better. Other times God is probably sending a video player to a young boy stuck in a hospital. He is personal in his gift giving. God can see the future and the past, and we have to trust that He knows what resources and experiences we all need. Literally as I was writing this the other day, I was having a hard time closing up some Easter Eggs for a hunt with friends that evening. I decided to say a simple paryer and ask for help. I had been trying to close these tricky eggs for over an hour. Suddenly, I was able to close every single one of them. We forget that we can pray for help in anything!

A relationship with God is always better when we let Him do the talking in the prayer as well. That requires stillness and pause while you are praying. That is the part we often forget. It is like going on a walk with a friend, and you talk the entire time without any input from the friend. But if we do pause to listen, often our prayers will be answered differently than we expect. And even better, is when we learn to change what we ask for in the prayer, especially when it involves a purpose greater than ourselves. And that is where trust comes in. Your Father in Heaven knows better than all of us combined and billions more. He is the author of truth, so lets go grab a coaching session with the greatest coach in universal history. He loves you more than you even know what love is. Let him teach you. All hard can melt in His presence. And we end our prayers "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen," because it is through Christ we are able to get back to Heavenly Father.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVa0tJPe5LE

If you enjoyed this classroom, there are many more good ones packed with science and scripture that help families build character here.